Monday, April 26, 2010

Let's Play a Game, Shall We?

It's called "How many questions can be asked between Rock Bridge Road and Henry Harris Road?". Let me warn you first that you must play with my son present. He will be a passenger in your car. Let me further warn you that, should you decide to compete with him head-to-head, you will lose. And I'm not talking about losing by only a little so that you still feel pretty good about your performance. I'm talking annihilation.

You see, my son is the prince of questions. I would say king but he's only 4, so he can't be a king until he's at least in his twenties, or longer if he's like the Prince Charles of question asking.

On a recent drive home from visiting my parents he managed to fill, pretty much, all 13.8 miles with questions. This was after losing the privilege to eat a candy bar bought just an hour earlier at Wal-mart because of his inability to not talk.

Wal-mart parking lot...
"John-Heath, if you say one more word you will NOT get to eat your candy bar and we won't stop to see Ma-Ma and Pa Gene. I mean it!!! NOT ONE MORE WORD!!! Nod if you understand mommy."

1.5 miles up the road...
"Look! A train."

Adios, Hershey's. I did give in on the not stopping to see Ma-Ma and Pa Gene thing though. He loves them like crazy. Besides, we had to stop and pick up Ren.

After a visit with the grands we headed home. This time with Ren in tow, as well. Thus it began...

Why do these people have houses beside Pa Gene's?
Why is there a gas station here?
Will we come back tomorrow?
Is tomorrow a church day, school day, soccer day or stay-at-home day?
Why is there a bus parked in that yard?
Do you drive a bus?
Why don't you drive a bus?
If you had a special license would you drive a bus?
Do those people at your school have a special license?
Why do they park those buses at your school?

John-Heath, shhuut uup!

Ren told me to shut-up.
Are you going to spank her when we get home?
Can I watch Alvin and the Chipmunks when we get home?
Mommy, do you want to watch it with me?
Ren, do you want to watch it with me?
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who-who?
Ren, say "who let the dogs out."


Why not?

Because I'm not an idiot.

Ren called me an idiot.

You're a psycho, John-Heath.

I not psycho.
What's a psycho?

According to Rand McNally's website it should take approximately 23 minutes to drive the distance between my parent's home and mine. I feel certain that Mr. Rand and Mr. McNally were both childless.

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