I'm not a runner but I play one on television. Just kidding. I don't think I could even pull off pretending to be a runner. Well, maybe if they hired a stunt double to stand in for all the running scenes and just zoomed in on me during the ones in which I would need to pant, gasp, breathe heavily, check my pulse, wipe sweat from my brow, and fall to the ground writhing in pain from shin splints. Now THAT role I could play!
Even though I, myself, am not a runner I know people who are. And in honor of these fine people (if not somewhat disturbed - I mean really? On a tread mill by 4 AM? I am still in the rapid eye movement mode of sleep at 4 am), and the Music City Marathon held this weekend in Nashville I present you with some rules and tips I thought you might find interesting.
The following is from a longer list entitled The 53 Runner's Commandments by Joe Kelly. Since I really don't want to type all 53 I am shortening the list to include my favorites. If you feel an aching hole in your soul to know the rest and/or are OCD and can't fathom partial lists you can Google Joe and read it in its entirety. Enjoy!
- Don't be a whiner. Nobody likes a whiner, not even other whiners.
- Keep a quarter in your pocket. You may need it one day.
- If it was easy, everyone would be a runner.
- A bad day of running still beats a good day at work (well, I have to disagree with Joe on this one)
- Don't talk about your running injuries. People don't want to hear about your sore knee or black toe.
- Look at hills as opportunities to pass people.
- Never run alongside very young or very old runners. They get all the applause.
- The first year in a new age group offers the best chance for trophies.
- Never confuse the Ben-Gay tube with the toothpaste tube.
- Never tell a runner he or she doesn't look good in tights.