Too Much Harper's + Too Little Exercise = Too Much Me (Part Two)

How had I not seen that coming? I suppose allowing more pictures of me to be taken along the way would have helped. I had never really enjoyed being photographed so it was easy enough to just make sure I was photographed even less. So I guess when you never see yourself in print it’s easy to think of yourself as you’ve always been. Actually, there are so few pictures of me my family, upon my death, will have a hard time putting together one of those slide shows done for funeral home visitation.

My friend’s proclamation that evening should not have come as some huge revelation, though I remember being about as stunned as I’m sure John was on the isle of Patmos. Lord knows my family reminded me enough. Some were, out of love, very blunt with me about it. Others were more polite.

I remember the time we went and spent a few days with John’s maternal grandparents. They lived a couple hours away so this was the first time we had seen them since our wedding. Granny was originally from Canada and became a naturalized citizen after marrying Papa. She was a very gentle, polite woman who still had tea and cookies each day and remained loyal to the monarchy. Her notice of my extra baggage came as one would expect from someone who lived during the depression, “My, you sure are looking healthy.”

I’m certain it was even more obvious to Granny because I was standing next to her grandson. John was blessed at birth with the great fortune of a very high metabolism. Makes me sick. He can eat anything, and I mean anything, and not gain weight. He’s one of these people who talk of having a desire to gain weight. Insert finger into throat now. Sometimes it has been too much to bear and I have actually told him the wrong pants or shoes to wear just so his appearance would be a little off and not so perfect. Okay, so I was a lot younger then and more immature and prone to petty jealousy. I swear I have not done anything like that in, at least, the last month or two.

To be continued...