Too Much Harper's + Too Little Exercise = Too Much Me (Part Two)

How had I not seen that coming? I suppose allowing more pictures of me to be taken along the way would have helped. I had never really enjoyed being photographed so it was easy enough to just make sure I was photographed even less. So I guess when you never see yourself in print it’s easy to think of yourself as you’ve always been. Actually, there are so few pictures of me my family, upon my death, will have a hard time putting together one of those slide shows done for funeral home visitation.

My friend’s proclamation that evening should not have come as some huge revelation, though I remember being about as stunned as I’m sure John was on the isle of Patmos. Lord knows my family reminded me enough. Some were, out of love, very blunt with me about it. Others were more polite.

I remember the time we went and spent a few days with John’s maternal grandparents. They lived a couple hours away so this was the first time we had seen them since our wedding. Granny was originally from Canada and became a naturalized citizen after marrying Papa. She was a very gentle, polite woman who still had tea and cookies each day and remained loyal to the monarchy. Her notice of my extra baggage came as one would expect from someone who lived during the depression, “My, you sure are looking healthy.”

I’m certain it was even more obvious to Granny because I was standing next to her grandson. John was blessed at birth with the great fortune of a very high metabolism. Makes me sick. He can eat anything, and I mean anything, and not gain weight. He’s one of these people who talk of having a desire to gain weight. Insert finger into throat now. Sometimes it has been too much to bear and I have actually told him the wrong pants or shoes to wear just so his appearance would be a little off and not so perfect. Okay, so I was a lot younger then and more immature and prone to petty jealousy. I swear I have not done anything like that in, at least, the last month or two.

To be continued...

Too Much Harper's + Too Little Exercise = Too Much Me

I would like to say I came to the realization this weekend that I am terribly out of shape and unhealthy and need to do something about it. Truth is, I came to this realization about 21 years ago but somewhat failed to follow through on the whole do-something-about-it part. As January 1 approached I told myself that 1990, 1991, 1992, (you get the picture) would be the year I would make a change. Unfortunately, I am the kind of girl who expects things to fall in my lap.

This is a terrible thing to admit, but I have never had to work really hard at anything in my life. High school was easy for me. No, I wasn’t a whiz kid. Quite the opposite, I was content to get by with an average grade. At the end of a semester I would average my grades and figure out that I could pass a particular class with a C if I made a 20 on the semester exam. Then I would only study 1/5 of the material. A brilliant plan, huh? By the way, if you happen to be reading this post and are currently enrolled as a high-schooler, please, for the love of all that is good and decent, do not follow in my footsteps. Yes, your life may be more relaxed but you will regret walking the graduation line without those pretty little golden cords.

College was even easier. I found that I possessed a knack for the art of BS. And anyone who has attended college can tell you that a good 40 - 50% of your grade can come from being skilled in this area.

For the most part, life has gone relatively smooth. Thankfully, I have had few struggles. Except for my weight.

Prior to my marriage I was thin. Not runway, anorexic skinny, but thin. For my height, my weight was fine. Then came marriage and college, along with fast food at the Grill and Pizza Hut lunches with the gang from the teacher program. And soon I became another statistic in the number of overweight Americans.

I was not even really aware that I was packing on the pounds...until about nine months after I married. My baby niece was in a beauty contest (her first of many) at the local high school and I was there to cheer her on. I was standing in the hall when a former classmate approached me with this stunned look on her face. “Tyla? Is that you?” “Yes, hi. How are ya?” “Oh my gahhhsh! You’ve gotten so fat!” What do you say to that? My first thought was to come back at her with some mean-spirited comment inquiring as to whether or not she ever went back and got that GED since she didn’t actually graduate with our class, but I resisted. I realized she hadn’t made her comment out of meanness, just tactlessness.

TO BE CONTINUED...

John-Heath's First Visit to the Principal's Office

Today, when I went to pick up John-Heath I was greeted with some news. As I put my car in park and sat waiting in the car-rider line for him to arrive I saw two of my friends, assistants at the school, walking towards me. These ladies were on a mission. They had a certain gleam in their eyes and a pep in their step. I was certain they had some juicy gossip to lay on my ears. I live in a small town. There's always gossip about something being spread around like fertilizer. And, yes. I have cultivated many a field too. Like I said, it's a small town.

I was mistaken. Oh, they had a story to tell. It just wasn't the type I expected to hear.

Apparently, only one week into his 13 year stint as a student, my son now knows what the inside of the principal's office looks like. No, he wasn't sent there (though that may be in his near future if he doesn't learn to settle his little hyperactive tushy down and pay attention). My son decided to take a tour of it on his own. I'm still a little unclear on all the details but the gist of the story is this...at some point today, as his group was lined up walking somewhere, my little Marco Polo decided to detour from the pack and enter a back door to the office. His little trip took him inside Dr. Stafford's private office where John-Heath located a restroom. Upon opening the door, my son proclaims, "Mr. Principal, you sure do have a nice potty."

I am unsure where the head of the school was when this comment was made, but I am somewhat afraid to ask.


P.S. John-Heath has now decided he wants to be a school principal when he grows up. I guess when he crossed over to the other side today he liked what he saw

For My Friend

Seth with little brother Caleb

Today, a friend was not at work. Instead, she and her husband had taken the day off to move their oldest into his college dorm. I know this is a bittersweet day for her, as it is for all parents moving their children into dorms and apartments for the first time. It wasn't too long ago that this little blonde-headed boy was sitting near us in church looking through the sticker books and such his mom always made sure to pack. In another day or two, he will be looking through engineering texts. It reminded me of the poem I read years ago and posted just a few months back. Forgive me, but in honor of my friend and her new college freshman I am posting it again today.

He used to call her mommy at the tender age of four.

Then it changed to momma as he grew a little more.

Later, it was mom - with a tone of disrespect.

And now away at college he only calls collect.

So long, mommy! I'm off to TTU.

Seth, call your mom often!!!

White Party 2010

Labor Day, or as I was brought up to know as The Last Day to Wear White for a While Day, will soon be upon us. Now, I have to admit something. There are times I’ve worn white well into September. When it’s 95 degrees outside it’s hard to remember such a rule. Anyway, to kick off the end to our official season of white I’m joining in on the fun of posting a White Party started over at DSS. Enjoy this somewhat wordy Wordless Wednesday!

Images via

School + Work + Football + Volleyball = One Tired, Busy Family

Hello there. It seems like I have been away from my computer for a complete lunar cycle but, alas, it has only been 3 days. Not a lot to tell. Ren had her first football game this past Friday night. For those of you joining us in progress, Ren is one of the water girls for her high school football team. She really does enjoy it and I think she is doing an excellent job...probably the best water girl in the history of the sport (of course, I guess I'm biased).

Today, was her first volleyball game. She loves this sport. Thankfully, she is now considered part of the varsity team so once the main game is over she can leave. Last year, the team was so small in number varsity and JV were practically the same so she had to stay for both. This made for some late nights.

Though we love to see her participate in these things it sure does leave little time for many other family chores and activities. And it can also be hard on one's back side if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

As for John-Heath's day, it seems he "got a yellow card, then a red card, but then I got a green card again so it was all okay and I got to play." The kindergarten classes use a discipline system in which the children start out with a green card each day. When they misbehave, etc. they must turn or pull a card. It goes from green to yellow to red to black - which is for one really terrible thing or a whole lot of little things. John and I are taking bets on how long it will be before Mr. Black Card reveals himself.

Tonight, John went into his room where he saw pieces of paper laid out on the floor. When he asked about this John-Heath informed him that these were his students' papers. He was playing school. When John asked his name he replied, "Miss Angel", which is his teacher. John left the room but continued to listen in and heard the newest educator in our family conduct a lesson with his pupils saying things like "boys and girls, I need you to get out your paper" and "no, I need you to do this now", as he corrected some unruly child (I wonder who his inspiration was for that role?).

Well, I'm tired. Please overlook grammatical errors and the like as I don't feel inclined to go back and proofread. Headed to bed, my friends.

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

'Twas the night before kindergarten...
and as he prepared,
John-Heath was excited and not one bit scared.
He tossed and he turned about in his bed,
while visions of school supplies danced in his head.

-adapted from the book by Natasha Wing

John-Heath is now officially "phased in" and will have his first FULL day of kindergarten tomorrow. His backpack is loaded to the brim with supplies along with two other shopping bags to boot. I know that there are some who complain about shopping for Back-to-School supplies but I have always enjoyed it. Of course, I am one of those people out at 4 in the morning the day after Thanksgiving too.

Here's hoping my little guy - and all the other little guys and gals - have a great year!

Wordless Wednesday - Cats in Hats

According to the news last night, hats are making a comeback.

To be honest, this makes me kinda happy.

Already one cool cat!

My favorite silver screen cat.

Even gals look great in them!

Meet Some Amazing, Versatile Bloggers

As promised here is a list of some of my favorite blogs. I check in with these gals just about every day. If you get a chance you'll want to stop by and visit with them too. Because they are so fantastic, I am forwarding The Versatile Blogger Award to them.

Kate

Southern Belle Simple

(A fellow Tennessean with whom I share my tomato woes. Check her out. Everyone loves a belle.)

Omgirl

Little Pink Houses

(Lives, well use to live, in the cutest little pink house. I am a sucker for old homes. They have such character and charm. I can say that because I once lived in a very old home myself)

Carrot Jello

Oinkle Doinkle

(I was sold the first time I visited her site and saw a couple dancing to the Beatles' Ob La Di Ob La Da. Funny stuff)

Trish

Pink Preppy Lilly Lover

(Just lovely. She posts the most amazing pictures)

The Redhead Riter

(I could spend hours on her site alone. Currently, though, she is facing a sad situation with her dad. If you are a person of prayer please say one for her. I know this is for someone you don't know but I believe it really doesn't matter if we know a person. God knows them.)

Stephanie

NieNieDialogues

(The very first blog I ever had the pleasure of reading and the catalyst for my own blogging adventure. A truly inspirational story!)

I think you'll really enjoy their blogs and come to see very quickly just how inadequate mine is. Happy reading, ya'll.

Why We Have Sick Days

A strepless John-Heath

Today was John-Heath’s second phase-in day of kindergarten (he will begin in earnest this Friday). I dropped him off at 7:45 a.m. At roughly nine o’clock I received a phone call from my friend, who also happens to be the TA for kindergarten. Something was not as it should have been with my son. He was too quiet - not being very inquisitive by asking a gazillion questions. He also told her his arm was hurting and that it “was swelling.” A temp of 100.4 warranted an early dismissal.

A trip to the doctor, our favorite Dr. Kastner, confirmed strep. And now we’re doing the whole bubblegum medicine song and dance. To tell you the truth, I was actually somewhat relieved he had something. I always feel like some Nervous Nellie when I go and nothing is found to be wrong. Don’t you just hate calling to set up an appointment to get in ASAP because a child is so terribly sick with such a high fever, and then you get there just about the time the Motrin is working its magic? Like today, prior to going his temp approached 103, but when his temp was checked by the nurse it was below normal and he was having quite a grand time of spinning around on the doctor’s stool. When the announcement of strep was made I was almost like, “YES!”, as I reached into the air and pulled down my clinched fist.

Sooooo, looks like I’ll be getting to take a day off already.

T minus 10 sick days and counting...


P.S.
Dear Dr. Kastner,
Thank you for allowing my son to play with your stethoscope and examine your ears with that other funny looking instrument. I'm sure your ears weren't that bad. Don't kids say the cutest things?

By the way, you're the greatest!

People, please. Learn How to Spell.

This hasn’t been a good week in the public relations department for two different schools, and it’s enough to make all English teachers cringe.

First, road crews in North Carolina erroneously spelled “school” when hired to mark the school zones last week. Then the University of Alabama had what its publicist called an “unfortunate oversight” when it spelled Mississippi with only one p on tickets for the upcoming football season.

Now, if you can’t remember how to spell school I can’t help you. But I do have a trick for anyone out there who finds spelling the name our nation’s 20th state a wee bit hard. I’m surprised the folks at ‘Bama didn’t use this.

M


I


Crooked Letter


Crooked Letter


I


Crooked Letter


Crooked Letter


I


Humpback


Humpback


I

Happy spelling, ya'll!