"Mono y Mono"

Hello there, friends. I thought I would check in with you just so you’ll know I haven’t fallen from the face of the earth or been thrown in jail. Considering my clumsiness and oft short temper John would be quick to point out both those scenarios could be completely plausible.

So, here’s a brief recap of what we’ve been up to at the Tire Swings hacienda.

Ren has mono, as in nucleosis. She has been one sick puppy this week, and as of this writing still is. Poor thing, she can’t even blame it on a kiss from some sweet boyfriend (she’s stubbornly single). Being sick because of love could be tolerable in a romantic sort of way - think Marianne and Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility - but being sick because someone sneezed all over a door knob, etc. just stinks.

According to our in-house specialist Dr. John-Heath, her outlook is bleak. For evidence he produced a Weekly Reader brought home from school showing how germs are spread. He described each step as he pointed to the pictures in the article and concluded with ..."and then, Ren, you die."

Speaking of John-Heath, he is still loving the iPod Santa brought him for Christmas. His favorite games are Angry Birds, Temple Run, and Cars 2. Cars 2 frustrates him to no end and, if it continues to produce the weeping and wailing we hear coming from his bedroom, may soon be accidentally deleted from his menu.

As for me, I stayed home with Ren Tuesday and Wednesday and went back to work for part of the day today. Now, I cannot pretend I don’t like being home from work (high pitched squeals of delight have been known to be produced at the very thought of it), though naturally I would rather it be under better circumstances. I also wish it were drier weather. It seems like it has rained in Middle Tennessee for a solid month. My driveway, what’s left of it, is proof.

I blame that rain, along with my husband and the fact that yesterday was trash day for the minor fiasco I got myself into. TBC...

Zzzzzzzz

I stayed home this morning with John-Heath who has been feverish since yesterday morning. John stayed with him all day yesterday and came home at midday today to stay with him throughout the afternoon. Any other time I would jump at the chance to be home with him all day except that

1.) This is a busy time of the year for me with library books and textbooks being due, Battle of the Books coming up, and lots of overdue and fine notices needing to be sent

and

2.) John has like a gazillion sick leave days and I have four. Actually, I have many more than four but I don't have a gazillion and that is why John gets to stay home with him.



Sometime around 5:45ish and after sending out a few school-related emails I burrowed again beneath my covers. John and Ren left the house before 7 so that Ren could get to school a little earlier for math tutoring. At some point after this I was joined by my sickly one and we snuggled together and fell asleep. A little after 10 my heavy eyelids gradually opened. Turning my head to the left I saw my little boy - wide awake and looking at me.

"Mommy, why were you snoring?"

"I was snoring?"

"Yes."

"What did it sound like?"

"Like this!

Where did all the mercury go when you really need it?

Between Christmas, MLK Day, and the snow days it seems we've been out of school more than in over the past few weeks. This week seems to be more of the same. It is Wednesday. There have been three days in this work week and I have missed two of them. John-Heath has the flu so his dad and I have taken turns staying home with him. Actually, this all started this past Thursday night. I stayed home with Friday. So, really I've missed 3 of the last 4 work days. I have never complained about a day or two (or three) off though.

What I have been complaining about a lot lately is how much I miss a quality thermometer! I miss the good ole days of actually being able to read an accurate temperature. If my child had a fever of 102 then it read 102. That's not the case today.

I know the makers of all the digital thermometers on the market would disagree but, sadly, they are wrong. I have yet to find a thermometer that is consistently accurate, and I have bought several lately.

Of course, since the powers that be determined several years ago that mercury is too harmful an element to be used in medical thermometers we're stuck with these little crappy ones that are said to take an accurate temperature in a fraction of a second. The not-so-funny thing about them is they are never consistent. John-Heath, who has been so hot it was uncomfortable to even touch him, fevered out below 100 on a recent purchase. And when I took mine I had a body temp of 92.4. Wouldn't I be dead? Maybe I am and this is all just a dream and John and the kids are having a rip-roaring time spending my life insurance. Anyway, back to my story.

I don't know who this little girl is but her mom sure is fortunate.

The typical "fever thermometer" contains between 0.5 to 3 g of mercury - too small an amount to be poisonous, but potentially problematic if one were to inhale it. I have broken a few glass thermometers in my time. I can assure you no one, not even my daughter who was very young at the time, tried to sniff the stuff. The biggest concern I had was figuring out how to clean up those little silvery beads. The are quite slippery.

Oh, well. It looks like it's time to start looking for someone who might be bootlegging some mercury. Thank goodness for eBay.