We Want to Know. Q & A.

{1} Who would you call if you had to get bailed out of jail?

No one. I am a mother and a teacher, which means for the past two months I have been cooped up at home mediating the arguments of my two children. A weekend in jail would be a nice reprieve. At one point I even hatched a plan. Ride through town. Spot a patrol car. Toss out my milkshake in plain sight. Resist arrest.

{2} If you were a superhero what would your hero name be?

Professor Poopypants!!! Dang those cow pies!!!

Oh, wait. That's already taken.

{3} What do you think is one of your best qualities?

My agility, of course.

{4} What song would you pick to be your own personal theme song?

"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". It's as eclectic as I am.

{5} What celebrity do you think is most over rated?

All of them. Okay, maybe not Andy Griffith.

Farming Friends

Last night's phone call to a friend in search of some information about high school chemistry yielded unexpected results. It just so happened my call caught my friend in her garden, and by the end of our conversation she was making plans to drop off some tomatoes by my house. My own tomato plants are not producing very well again this season. Well, she brought the tomatoes and then some.

The makings for some great side dishes. Believe it or not, I am somewhat excited about cooking. Yikes! Did I just say that? Someone slap me.

A jar of pear honey left from last season. Yummy! We love all kinds of jellies, jams, and spreads at our house.

My favorite from the whole lot...fresh green beans. Nothing beats them.

I'd say that was one productive phone call. I got the answer to my question and the fixings for a delicious supper. Well, I'm off to begin shelling some peas.

P.S. I'm sure I'll have questions about anatomy, algebra II, and U.S. History to ask in the near future, so if you raise a garden let me know and I'll be sure to call you, too. ;)

Robert Ezra Lyles, 1930 - 2011

Now here's to Uncle Robert

May his name forever stand

And always be remembered

When we eat our Easter ham.

His earthly race is over

The curtains 'round him fall

We'll carry him on to victory

On the Wabash Cannonball.

Today, my family will be saying goodbye to my father's brother-n-law, Robert Ezra Lyles, or Uncle Robert as I always called him. He and my aunt Fairdenia (1933-2000) were the ones who began the tradition of my paternal family gathering for Easter each year. As a child, a favorite moment at any family event was of Uncle Robert, a fan of the great Roy Acuff, singing The Wabash Cannonball. Sadly, in declining health for the last few years and residing in a convalescent home, he passed away this past Tuesday.

Goodbye, Uncle Robert. You will missed.

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Blast from the Past - Stripes!

In honor of another situation I got myself into that would, most assuredly, cause Momma Gump to shake her head (you know, stupid is...), I thought I’d post an old picture for your viewing enjoyment.

After wearing my sunglasses in the pool for an extended period of time a few days ago, I emerged from the water looking like a raccoon. Facebook friends begged for photos. Those friends of mine are sooooo funny!

Anyway, the whole ordeal reminded me of the above photo, which was taken in 1978 in my parent’s back yard at what appears to be a cookout or quite possibly my nephew’s first birthday party on the 4th of July.

Yep. That’s me. The striped one. I was 8. And that work of art was caused by a green and white striped one-piece bathing suit.

Luckily, it faded and slowly but surely my new mask seems to be fading, as well.

P.S. These kids today think they're so original snapping photos of themselves with their cell phones and iPods. We were already doing that 30 years ago with our little plastic cameras and we did it without making those ridiculous fish faces ;)

The Fall

In case you’ve been wondering, contrary to popular belief, I have not dropped off the face of the earth. It’s just that I’ve been busy trying to enjoy the last of my summer break. It won’t be long before everyone in my district will be headed back to school. (insert BIG SIGH here)

The past several days have been full of ups and downs, and I mean "down" in the most literal sense of the word.

I think it all started the afternoon I swallowed the bug, a rather large one I’m afraid. From that point on, if something stupid was going to happen, it was going to happen to me. What is it that Forrest's momma always said...stupid is as stupid does? Well, allow me to introduce myself.

This past Sunday, four of the youth from our church were to be baptised (this was a most definite high point in the week as my youngest great-nephew, Dylan, was one of the four), so a nice spot in a local creek, deep and wide, was chosen. We all met and followed each other, caravan style, traveling down a country lane and across the pasture of a friend’s farm to the appointed spot.

Two things became clear almost instantly...

1. No one had told the owner of the land that a terrified-of-snakes-diva would be attending, so he hadn’t mowed an area in the grass for her/me to park and walk. It was a little high for my taste. Then again, any grass higher than what you would find on a putting green or football field (made of artificial turf) tends to make me nervous and puts me on the lookout for snakes.

2. This farmer raised cattle - a lot of it. My nose told me so even before my eyes confirmed it. So, as we trooped through the slightly above ankle-high grass, warnings were issued from those up ahead, “Watch where you step!” Now, if you live in the country you know exactly what that meant. If not, just know that cows are not very discriminating poopers. I guess when you have four stomachs you can’t afford to be picky about when and where you go to do your business.

After a short walk I had finally made it to the tree line which separated the field from the creek bank. I had arrived safely. I was now out of the sun, had sighted no snakes, and thanks to using nearly a whole bottle of Deep Woods Off, was confident I could elude chiggers and mosquitoes.

The reprieve from the sun was much appreciated, too. I’m not kidding, people. It. Was. Hot!!! Of course, I knew it would be, so I dressed as cool as possible (yet still dignified enough for a church service) in a white peasant-like top and cream capris, and let me just say thank heavens for capris. Now, all that was left in our journey was to walk down a little embankment to the water and witness what is always a wonderful event.

My 78-year-old mother was in front of me, cautiously making her way along the path and telling me to follow her. That was my plan. But before I could, I took a step to the side giving her room to cross under a branch.

Again, cows are not discriminating poopers. On an incline, where water run-off makes for an already slippery slope, some cow had recently been a visitor and my left foot stepped in what had been left behind. Before my mother even got the words, “Tyla, don’t go that way” out of her mouth I was down. I’m not sure how far I slid, but it was far enough and hard enough and fast enough that my cream capris were not so creamy anymore. On second thought, I guess they were creamy - just not in color.

According to John, only a few people saw it and, thankfully, even fewer heard what came out of my mouth at the exact moment my bottom side made contact with the ground. In fairness to me, though, I did manage to cut it off mid-word, so it sounded more like what old women say when they are frustrated. John’s grandmother, an otherwise very proper southern lady, actually said it quite a lot, always in a series of three. I think leaving the i out makes it okay.

Just up behind this group of people is the pants-ruining slope.

Thankfully, God is a loving Father and just as soon as one slips up (no pun intended) he is ready to forgive, and whatever a person’s transgression may be, becomes invisible to Him.

Dylan being baptised by my father (and his great-grandfather).

People still see, though. And if they can’t see, they can smell. And if they can neither see nor smell, John-Heath is always there to point it out!

There Was An Old Lady...

...who swallowed a fly.

I don't know why she swallowed the fly,

I guess she'll die!

Oh, wait! It wasn't an old lady, but a slightly less than middle-aged one who, in a manner somewhat out of character, threw her head back and laughed heartily at something her daughter said - only to have some blankety-blank-blank bug decide to take the evening tour of her throat at that exact moment!

Goodnight, people. I have a bug making its way through my innards and I may wretch. You don't want to be around for that.

Summer of the Swimmer

My little water dog!

Last year, we had a choice to make - go on a vacation or purchase a pool. We decided to stay put and swim. And let me tell ya, with the heat we've been experiencing in Middle Tennessee these past few days I think we made the right call. Now, I would have loved to put in an in-ground with some fantastic landscaping (Wouldn't something like this be just too cool?), but John reminded me how permanent that would be and how there may come a day when we no longer need one (i.e. kids married and/or off at college), so we went with a large above-ground. And, again, during these suffocatingly hot days our bodies don't mind one bit that it's above sea level, so to speak.

This summer is just another reminder that my little boy is growing up, as this is his first summer to swim without the use of his vest. He absoluetly loves it and thinks he's all grown up now, what with swimming with no vest and going into the first grade. Why, he's practically ready for his driver's license.

Well, I think I need to get off the computer and get in the water. What about you? Does your family enjoy swimming in the summer?

Jumping with Renny. She loves swimming but has her limit. John-Heath, on the other hand, would stay in it from morning until bedtime if we allowed him, which makes it hard to find time to finish staining the deck.

Doing the "frog". We call it this because it is how a frog we once found in the pool looked when I tossed it out.


Taking a moment to just relax and take in some rays. Those are Ren's feet at the top of the picture.


Perfecting his cannonball.

Happy being together and not fighting - a rare sight to behold.

Independence Day Recap

My family usually celebrates the 4th of July at my sister's, where my brother-n-law grills out hamburgers and hotdogs (burning a couple dogs for me) or cooks up a big batch of his yummy bbq. This year we had the pig with all the fixins'.

Here's Ren posing with one of the desserts - patriotic cupcakes.

The neighbors (several of them, in fact) put on quite the fireworks show, which would rival those of many small towns. It was the best kind of entertaiment. Not only was it freee, we had great seats on my sister's patio and didn't have to fight the traffic to watch the one which was being held in our nearby county seat. Actually, that one was cancelled at the last minute because the pyro company never showed. I'm just glad we weren't among the thousands sitting around waiting for the show or, rather, no-show.

Anyway, we had promised the boys we would pick up a few fireworks of our own to shoot when it got dark, so we headed up the road to a stand.

My question is this...when did fireworks get sexy? My nephew Jonathan said it best when he remarked, "I don't know if I'm at a fireworks stand or an adult book store." To me, the funniest picture of the night is the one below of the boys taking a gander at some of the descriptions. I think they were rather shocked. Even John-Heath, who is not yet a full-fledged reader, seemed a bit stunned.

When you have two children it's all about equality. Here Jonathan is making sure everything is evenly divided in his sons' basket.

John-Heath making sure everything he had in his basket gets in the sack. Megan is in the background being all stuck up. Just kidding. Actually, she was throwing her hair out of her face.

After only asking "can we shoot them now" about a hundred times, John-Heath finally gets his hands on a sparkler. Last year, he called them sprinklers. He was also sick last year and missed out on the family party.

Who knew they could create so much smoke?

The boys and Jessie watch from a safe distance.

We gave the neighbors quite a run for their money with our airplanes, tanks, and pooping puppies (wish I had taken a picture of that!). I'm sure they were just soooo envious.

"You didn't make it, Goose."

- Jonathan.

A few final shots of the grands and great-grands on the steps. Because of the one in the gray shirt, the only teacher in the shot by the way, we had to take this picture about ten times, and between each take John-Heath would head to the door trying to get to the kitchen for something to drink. Eating 5 cupcakes makes a boy thirsty.

Family time is the best! Hope your 4th was as bright as ours.

One Step Closer Thanks to Sonya Hamilton

You may or may not remember that I have been planning to redo John-Heath's room. Actually, I decided to redo it many moons ago. However, in usual Tyla fashion I have procrastinated. That's a shocker, right?

Soon after posting THIS, I began to pick up a few pieces to go in his new room, but I forbade myself from going ahead and painting until I was able to find the correct fabric for the drapes. You see, I have a bad habit of changing my mind. A lot. If I decided at some point I couldn't find the exact fabric I wanted it would be easy enough to return a lamp or pillow to a store or sell them in a yard sale, but fresh paint in an unusual color/pattern would be a complete waste. Therefore, his room stayed the same while the search for the fabric ensued.

Well, folks, a giant piece of the puzzle has fallen into place. After browsing online stores and some Nashville fabric houses (one of which is staffed with some people who couldn't have acted any colder had they been strapped to the top of a polar ice cap) I decided to just go to the source. So, I emailed Sonya Hamilton of Sonya Hamilton Interiors and she was able to secure for me the fabric I needed. Go here to check out her blog, full of all kinds of ideas on home decor.

The inspiration room.

Best of all, not only did she find the fabric, she personally delivered it to me...all the way from Oklahamo! Talk about great service! Actually, during our correspondence she realized I only lived a short distance from an interstate exit she would be passing on her way to a North Carolina vacation, so we met up yesterday outside an O'Charley's. Let me tell you, she is the nicest person. I could have talked with her for much longer and felt completely comfortable. In fact, so relaxed was our little 10 - 15 minute parking lot visit, I believe as we parted ways I said, "See ya later."

To see it in person the color is a little darker than it appears here - not quite so Volunteer orange. The top of the panels will be in a small brown/cream houndstooth. I think I am in love.

Now, off to pick out some paint. In a day or two.

My Thoughts on the Casey Anthony Case

Normally, I prefer to blog about light-hearted, feel-good events. You know, my kids and their cute sayings, birthday parties, and catching lightning bugs. All bubble gum and peach fuzz. Last night, I planned to post pictures from my family’s 4th of July celebration (I’m sure you are awaiting them with bated breath) but Picasa was being rather difficult and I sent him to bed without his dinner. Actually, after the FOURTH time of a “not responding” message I just gave up. I’ll get them on soon enough, I guess. Maybe before Halloween.

Anyway, making a rare appearance here at Tire Swings is my take on the conclusion of a more serious issue. Wait. Serious is too limp a word for this topic. Dark. Dark better suits the whole sorted mess that makes up the Caylee/Casey Anthony case.

Unless you live under a rock (in which case you probably aren’t reading this right now), you are aware of this now mostly finished court case. Casey Anthony has been found not guilty of the death of her little girl, Caylee. Message boards across the web have been working overtime since the verdict was announced yesterday afternoon, with many people questioning whether justice has been served.

I know I am about to go out on a limb here - a really, really long one based on many of my Facebook friends’ statuses - but I submit that our judicial system worked the way it was set up to work and I agree with the verdict. Had I been on the jury, I believe my vote would have been the same. In a capital murder case, where the defendant is facing the death penalty, the burden of guilt falls on the prosecution. They must prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. If that doubt exists, a juror has no choice but to acquit. It really is as simple as that.

Do I think Anthony was a good mother or is a good person? No. Do I find her family really disturbing and dysfunctional? Yeah. Would I, or any of the mothers I know, have ever disposed of a child after an accidental death? I highly doubt it. Do I think she’s a pathological liar? Absolutely. But what I think doesn’t matter. It’s what can be proven.

The defense claimed that Caylee drown and a panicked Casey (and dad) hid the child’s body. (Actually, well over a year ago, I was reading some article about the case and I came across the mention of a ladder found set up next to the family’s pool and I had this same fleeting thought). Do I know for certain this is what happened? Absolutely not. But on the same hand, it cannot be proven that this didn’t happen.

Without a cause of death and with leaky circumstantial evidence how can there not be reasonable doubt in this case? Again, just because we feel like a person is guilty of something because they lie a lot and act in ways we wouldn’t act or because they may have looked up a few odd things on the internet does not a premeditated killer make. Heaven help me if one day something happens to someone in my family and my computer is seized. I am a terribly curious person and have looked at my share of information that some would find disturbing. U.T.’s Anthropological Research Facility, a.k.a. the Body Farm, comes to mind. If I were on trial, the moment it became public knowledge there were searches about human decomposition on my computer I would automatically be branded guilty in the minds of a lot of people. Throw in a few searches on foreign vacation rentals and suddenly people are positive of my plans to flee the country. You see what I mean? Would you want yourself or your son or daughter convicted on such?

Anyway, this is my take on the issue and it is worth about two cents. Not much. But, it is my take.

Happy 4th of July!!!

Happy 4th of July to you all! Personally, even though there are times I feel our country is headed in a downward spiral, there is simply no other place I'd rather live. It is a fortunate feeling in being able to call one's self an American.

I also want to send out birthday wishes to my nephew Jon who turns 34 today. Happy birthday, Jonathan!!! I remember making a very lame joke about putting a firecracker in your diaper so often it became old very fast. Hey, I was only 7. What can you expect?

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