It's Not My Fault...

...aka the post in which I use a long, run-on sentence to say there is the possibility I stand a good chance of making some people mad at me with what I’m about to say even though my intention is only to get something off my chest that really, really bugs me rather than to offend anyone or hurt the feelings of someone who doesn’t deserve to have their feelings hurt.  Whew!!!  Here goes.  By the way, I am perched high on my soap box today, my friends, and it may be a while before I come down.   

What the heck has happened to personal responsibility in this country?  Okay, casual cursing is just not me so maybe that’s not the best or most beneficial way to start.  One of the first things I learned when I began teaching 19 years ago was to always begin each and every correspondence with a parent in a positive way, especially if bad news was to follow.  That can be hard to do sometimes.  Once, the rough draft of a letter I prepared to send home with a student started with the sentence Mrs. Doe, Your daughter has the nicest, cleanest hair I’ve ever seen.  Don’t worry. I was able to come up with a more appropriate positive opening line for the actual letter...though in that particular case it was a struggle.  

Shall I begin again?

As an educator, I will click on national news links concerning school issues from time to time.  Often, I come away from the article feeling enlightened - inspired, even.  Sometimes, however, I am left just absolutely flabbergasted, with a bad taste in my mouth from even reading the words in the article and thinking someone needs to be shaken - and hard.  In this most recent case, the ACLU.  

It seems the American Civil Liberties Union has found its next cash cow...low performing schools.  This country’s favorite scapegoat (public education) is bleeding and the sharks are smelling the possible millions to be made.  

The ACLU has filed a class-action lawsuit against a Michigan school district on behalf of 8 students who, according to the organization, have been denied the right to an education because, basically, they are not proficient in reading and math.  Once again, it is the school’s fault.

Before I continue let me just go ahead and state a few things:  1.  I speak without having researched this lawsuit beyond what I read in the article.  2.  Just like every other place of employment in this country, every school has one or two employees who need to find another job.  3.  Test data is not always indicative of teacher quality.  4.  I do feel sympathy for children who find themselves in legitimately bad environments, whether it be school or home.

Folks, wake up!  The situations we get ourselves into in life are most often of our own doing and not the fault of someone else, as many would like us to believe.  The blame game we have in this country anymore is growing very tiresome and I, for one, am quite fed up with it.

The word “entitled” in this country has been taken far out of context.  Regarding education, our children are entitled to a free education.  By that, I believe our founding fathers meant for the government to provide for the transfer of knowledge from a trained person to our children and a setting for this transfer to take place.  I do not think it was their belief that personal responsibility on the part of the student or the parent(s) in securing an education should cease.  

If a student sits in a class and chooses not to listen or complete the assigned tasks and goes home to parents who choose not to support the provided educational opportunities, the failure of the student, in my opinion,  then rests squarely at the feet of themselves and their parents.  What is the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.  Truer words are seldom spoken.  

Another “not-so-nice-of-a-way-to-put-it” saying I have long remembered from a former co-worker is, and I quote, “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit”.  She should know, too.  She taught for over thirty years and her husband, also a teacher, was the coach of a perpetual powerhouse football team which won the state championship a number of times.  Now, that may be offensive to you, but it is, nonetheless, true.

We, and I am speaking to parents here, cannot drop our kids off at the door ill-prepared with a lack of basic supplies and with little training from home in the way of respect, manners, work ethic, and discipline, do nothing on our own at home to support their education and expect much more than what we dropped off in the beginning. It’s true, a good teacher is the single most important factor in a child’s education during the school day.  But once the school day ends, parents, it becomes our job to carry on the training.

Where the government has failed in my opinion??? Creating a class of citizens who have no desire, or reason, to work for what they need or pay their own way in life.  

If you only knew how many times I have heard, when expressing to my students the importance of hard work and a good education, young people make remarks of a contradictory nature based on the experience they see each day from their own parents who do not work and seem to “do just fine” (because of government support they receive monthly), it would make you sick, and quite scared for the future of our country.  And don’t even get me started on how it feels when the first question asked on registration day by many parents covered in tattoos, piercings, reeking of cigarette smoke is “where do I sign my kid up for free lunch and supplies”.  I’m sorry, but if you have enough disposable income to smoke or get tatted and pierced you should be able to pay for your child’s lunch and supplies.

Now, before you get too angry with me and think I am being mean-spirited I believe there is a need for certain government programs.  When a person cannot work due to severe physical and/or mental limitations I feel it becomes the duty of those who do work to help support them.  Likewise, when a person, through no fault of their own, finds themselves hurting financially we should want to help them over their hurdle.  

However, when we tell able-bodied people that it is okay to sit home day in and day out, not work and we, the ones who do work, will provide for you, what motivation is there for them to go out and find gainful employment or further their education?  And as this government supported lifestyle trickles down through generations, what motivation does a parent have in making sure to support education in the home.

But hey, it’s not their fault. They’re entitled to every cent they get, and luckily, the ACLU wants to help some of them get a little more.

Currahee! Currahee!

Life is never dull when you have a son.  

John-Heath, who is a big fan of all things military, especially any and everything to do with WWII, is constantly role playing.  I don't know whether to be the proud American mother of a potential future soldier or the worried mother of a 7-year-old who talks a bit too much about capturing Germans and court martialing his sister.  His favorite soldiers to emulate are the members of Easy Company of the 506 Parachute Infantry Regiment. 

Today, I had told him we would need to work on a little more math and reading.  We I have been woefully inept in working with him to keep his school skills sharp this summer.  As a teacher I know it's important, but when children hear test, test, test all year long the last thing I want to do in the summer is remind them of more.  Math will just have to wait until tomorrow.

So bright and early today, my son scouted an area for his foxhole, gathered wood to cover said foxhole to protect him from shrapnel and antipersonnel artillery, dressed in some PT clothing and said he was going to run Currahee (if you have seen Band of Brothers you know what this is).

    

Ready for Currahee - 3 miles up, 3 miles down

(a run around the farm and a trek to the barns makes a good substitute)

But first, he must earn his wings with some practice jumps using the parachute off his GI Joe

that he asked me to tie onto his backpack.

A successful landing!

Fresh back from a run.  

(Note to my son:  Next time, mom would appreciate being told before you head out alone on the farm Camp Toccoa, as I get a little worried when a search and rescue must be launched. Oh, and tie your shoes, soldier.)

Meeting "Erin Walton"

Growing up as a child in the seventies and teen in the eighties some of my favorite shows were Gilligan’s Island, Little House on the Prairie, Good Times, Magnum P.I., Growing Pains, Dallas, and The Waltons.  What can I say, I have an eclectic taste when it comes to entertainment.

Last night, Ren and I took a couple friends and headed to a church in Warren County, Kentucky to hear Mary McDonough speak about her new book Lessons from the Mountain: What I learned from Erin Walton. I am well on my way into reading the book and so far, so good.

It was a very pleasurable evening and it was fun to listen to Ms. McDonough give a lot of behind the scenes details on what it was like to work on one of my favorite shows as a child.  Ren, who has dreamed since she was four or five to one day be an actress, really soaked in this part of the evening, too, even though she has only seen part of an episode or two of the show (she being much more a LHOTP fan).  I think she was more enamored by the fact she was able to meet a celebrity.  

 

Ren with her signed book.

   

Describing what it was like growing up Walton.

 Mary with some of her fans.  This one woman brought her husband and three daughters and EACH of them had their own copy of the book.  Now that's a fan!  The girl seated in the blue dress to the left is Ms. McDonough's daughter, who is the spitting image of her mom.

  

Ren watching as her book was signed.

 Ren was thrilled..."She ripped my book.  That's so cool!"

So sorry Ren, My Bad!! Mary McDonough "Erin"

So, given last night’s fun, let me list here a few of my favorites connected to the show.

1.

My two favorite episodes were “The Burnout” (which Mary said last night was her  favorite episode to film) and “The Ghost Story” (you know me, I love anything scary).

2.

My favorite characters on the show were the grandparents.  

3.

I love the performance Ellen Corby gave on an episode of The Andy Griffith Show entitled “Barney’s First Car”...totally opposite from her role as Grandma Esther Walton.

4.

My favorite of the Walton children was Jason.

5.

With only one sister myself, I always thought it would be great to grow up with a bunch of brothers and sisters.  My mother and father would probably disagree.

6.

John Walton always reminds me of my own father just a little when he is shown sitting at the Walton kitchen table in a work shirt and wearing his glasses while figuring out a lumber project.  I have seen Daddy do this many times at our kitchen table when working up a bid for some construction project.

7.

The real Walton’s Mountain is a little place called Schuyler, Virginia (pronounced “Skyler”) and was the childhood home to the show’s writer and narrator Earl Hamner, Jr.  John, Ren, and I took a little side trip there in 2003 on the way home from D.C.

 

 Ren and I with "Erin"

A Few Thoughts on Raising Children

Jacqueline Kennedy once said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.”  How true is that!

I have to be honest with you, raising children is the most difficult job I have ever had.  It’s perplexing how two (in my case) people who bring me the most joy in life also bring the most frustration.  There are times when I feel like one big fat failure.

Let me just include here, lest I have painted an unflattering picture of them in your mind, I have really good kids and, despite the occasional attitude adjustments needed, dirty dishes left out, and toys left strewn about, I feel blessed they are mine.   

When it does become a little overwhelming I take a step back and realize my goal should be to raise good children, not perfect children (for they do not exist), and that my micromanaging, choreographic, helicopter style is usually counter-productive.

Having said that though, I think the hands-off approach taken by many parents in child-rearing does even more harm.  Children need love, support, and freedom to learn on their own and be independent, but they also need guidance and discipline.  There is a consequence to each and every action we do, and sometimes the consequence can be grave.  Children need to be taught this.

In our years of teaching John and I have seen many a parent come to school when their little Johnny or Jane was in trouble in an effort to get them out of whatever consequence they were facing.  Usually, but not always, these parents were never seen at any other time during the year...not at P/T conferences, open houses, or other school events.  The only time they were ever publicly engaged in their child’s education was to fight to keep them from being disciplined and to argue that whatever rule was “unfair”.

I remember this one student (not from my class) who had stolen an item another 7th grade student had brought for show and tell.  The item was a Samurai sword (yes, this was in the days before zero tolerance).  At some point in the day the sword was found to be missing, and the teacher began searching with no luck.  Then, at the end of the day during bus dismissal, the teacher just happened to notice one sheepish looking boy walking toward a bus, carrying a gym bag which just so happened to be in the shape of a sword.  When questioned about it and after giving multiple versions of his story he was given his punishment (which I don’t remember now what that was).  Anyway, the next day his mother came to school furious that her son was in any kind of trouble.  As she told it, her son had told her he didn’t even know there was a sword in his bag.  Of course, the school did not back down and the mother left angrier than ever ranting about how her son would never have done anything like that and how the school was horrible.  The next year, this same student showed up in a pair of shoes which had been stolen from a locker the day before.  Of course, mom was back with the same story to tell...not my boy.  He would never.  This pattern of trying to get her son out of punishment continued until one day, a few years later, when the young man died drunk in a fishing accident.  Not even mom could get him out of that one.

The following article has been making the rounds on my Facebook feed, so if you and I are friends you may have already seen and/or shared it.  Anyway, I thought it was good so I wanted to share it, too.

A Different Kind of Drug Problem

The other day someone at a store in our town read that a meth lab had been found in an old farmhouse in an adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were kids?”  

I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:  I was drug to church on Sunday mornings.  I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.  I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by the ears when I was disrespectful to adults.  I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.  I was drug out to pull weeds out of my mom’s garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of my dad’s fields.  I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair a clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known I had taken one single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins today and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think.  They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us.

Amen!

YO, ADRIAN!

This is just one of those "must share" moments.  John-Heath, tee-totally buck naked, comes running into my bedroom a couple nights ago carrying an old American flag.  Quickly wrapping it around himself he said, “Look, mom!  I’m Rocky I V.”  (Oh, to read that as he said it you should say “Look, mom!  I'm Rocky Eye V”)

I’m sure this constitutes some type of improper handling of the flag, so I hope no one from the local chapter of the VFW sees this.

Happy Monday, Y'all!

 



P.S.  If all goes as planned, tomorrow evening I may get the chance to meet a character from one of my favorite television shows as a child.  I'll give you a hint:  this person was the member of a large ensemble.  More to come on that later.

It's Like Christmas in July

Or, at least, it is in my home with a son who loves to dress in costume.  What are you willing to bet that Uncle Sam shows up in December? 

 

And I heard him exclaim as guests entered our house, "Ho! Ho! He! and Guess what?  In our car was a dead mouse."

Hope your week has been as colorful as ours. 

The Passing of a Legend

What’s small potatoes to some folks can be mighty important to others.  - Sheriff Andy Taylor

With Andy Griffith’s passing Tuesday morning America lost a hero, not one simply fashioned in the image of Hollywood but rather created in the hearts of people, especially those who share a small town kinship with the beloved actor. 

With No Time for Sergeants, Murder in Texas, Matlock and a whole slew of other memorable roles in between, Andy Griffith transported us through a bevy of emotion...laughter, heartbreak, even disgust (I’m thinking Murder in Coweta County here...the one role I did not like seeing him play).  But it was his Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry in The Andy Griffith Show that cemented his place in television history and in the hearts of people everywhere, including the members of my family.

On the days immediately following his death my Facebook feed was inundated with tributes to this fine man and his work.  I found posts comparing contrasting him with the likes of the “Kartrashians” (not my word, so just chill if you happen to like them) and others in this new generation of reality television to be quite humorous and, sadly, quite true. 

If I may, allow me to bird walk here for just a moment on the subject of this relatively new type of entertainment.  In the most simple of terms...Gag. Me. Now.  I’m sorry, but if I want to watch a show about a woman trying to find a husband I’ll just watch Suzanne give Mary Jo advice in an old episode of Designing Women ("Mary Jo, men do not come up and talk to a woman who's wheelin' around a 25 pound bag of dog food and a big box of Kotex!") and if I’m ever in the mood to watch a group of people survive on a deserted island the show better begin with a catchy theme song about an old millionaire couple, a professor, a movie star, and a farm girl from Kansas going on a three hour boat ride.  

Now back to Andy (hmmm...does anyone even use his last name when speaking of him?).  Of all the memorials floating around out there I think the one I like best, the one that tugs at my heartstrings the most, is this...Mayberry is a state of mind.  Maybe it’s because I’m Southern and grew up in my own version of the fictional town that I am a such a fan of the show and the actors behind its success, the reason they feel like old family friends.  

In these days where uncertainty abounds, family schedules can be chaotic at best, crime seems rampant, respect and manners become a little more rare with each passing year, and even small towns like mine grow up who doesn’t on occasion, in their most inner core, yearn for something more simple, more safe. 


When the weight of living in 2012 grows tiresome I can, with the simple push of the button, exile myself to a more gentle time, where integrity was valued, time slowed to a crawl after work and on Sundays, and pleasure could be found in the most innocent of entertainment, like peeling an apple in one long piece.


With a society that far too often seems headed straight to hell in a handbasket, I’m glad there have been people like Andy and his Sheriff Taylor, and towns like Mayberry and the people in them, to slow the trip a bit.

Though I never had the chance to meet him, he’s brought much joy to my family and me over the years and the influence of his life and his show will forever be fondly remembered.  So, don’t be too surprised should you ever call our house and are greeted with John-Heath’s favorite way to answer the phone... “Sheriff’s office.” 

Facts About the Fourth

With so much time off in the summer one thing my family enjoys doing is catching up on our movie watching.  Of course, when I say “family” I am not including John.  He will watch one every now and then but most of the time while we’re watching movies he’s busy writing and/or researching.  He’s working on a book about our town’s history.  We’re a small town so you’d think it wouldn’t take so long but you’d be surprised.  

Meanwhile, I’ve spent quite a bit of time upstairs getting my cinema fix on.  The other night I talked Ren into watching Sneakers with me (she didn’t want to so I told John-Heath he could watch Band of Brothers in her room.  Knowing that he would constantly be reenacting every scene of BoB she decided being in the media room with me was the lesser of two evils.  I know.  I can be devious like that).  When we finished she asked if I would watch National Treasure with her.  Turnabout is fair play, I suppose.

Because we are history geeks buffs, this movie is a favorite of ours and because today happens to be the Fourth of July, the day we Americans celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence and our freedom I thought I would list some facts about the document and the holiday which honors it.

1.)  The Declaration was adopted, after final revisions, on July 4, 1776.  Technically, however, the 13 original colonies had already voted to remove themselves from England’s rule on July 2, 1776.  In fact, John Adams thought that July 2 would become “the most memorable epocha in the history of America.”  He was off by two days.

2.)  There is some speculation as to whether the Liberty Bell - which would not be known by that name until some time later - was even in a usable condition and could be rung at the time.  If it did, it was one of many bells to ring out on July 8, 1776 to summon people to the Pennsylvania State House (later renamed Independence Hall) for the first public reading of the Declaration.  

3.)  The Liberty Bell has been housed since 2003 in the Liberty Bell Center, which is across the street from Independence Hall.  Incidentally, it was here at the LBC that I had a slight run-in with a none-too-nice federal agent who lacked any and all people skills in 2004 when a security screening machine kept beeping as I would try to walk through.  Finally, on the fourth try (and just seconds before being handcuffed) I stepped through without any beeps, bells or whistles.  If you get the chance to go, I would highly recommend a trip to Philadelphia.  Just beware certain unfriendly agents.

3.)  Not only did John Adams (our 2nd president) and Thomas Jefferson (the author of the original document and our 3rd president), both signers of the Declaration die on the 4th of July, they died on the same 4th of July.  In 1826, on the fiftieth anniversary of the Declaration, they died hours apart.  Though Jefferson died first, Adams was unaware of this and his last words are reported to have been “Thomas Jefferson survives.”

4.)  Signing the Declaration was, of course, viewed as an act of treason by King George III.  Benjamin Franklin famously said at the signing, “We must all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.”

5.)  In addition to Franklin, who at 70 was the oldest signer, 55 other men signed the Declaration - but not all at the same time.  The first was John Hancock, the last was Thomas McKean in 1777.  By the way, did you know that actress Reese Witherspoon is a direct descendent of signer John Witherspoon?

6.)  Once the Declaration had been adopted 200 official copies were made by printer John Dunlap.  Today, only 26 of these are known to remain, one of which was found tucked behind a $4 picture bought at a flea market in Pennsylvania in 1989 and sold most recently in 2000 for $8.14 million.  

7.)  On July 4, 1977 our family received a second reason to celebrate...my nephew Jonathan’s birth.

So, happy 4th to you all and happy birthday to Jon!!!

Image via

cRaZy HoT in Tennessee

Good Monday, friends.  We here in Middle Tennessee remain stifled by record-breaking temperatures.  It’s cRaZy HoT, y’all!!!  As I was saying to John the other night, the ONLY good thing about the heat wave we’ve been experiencing is that it has been a dry heat.  I can somewhat take heat. I don’t do humidity very well.

This past Friday the temperature in Nashville reached 109 - the hottest ever recorded.  Some spots north of Nashville, which is where I live, were even hotter I think.

Ren’s senior pictures had been scheduled for that evening and we were asked by our photographer, who is also a dear friend, if we wouldn’t want to reschedule.  All other sessions had.  Knowing how busy our schedule would become in July, I decided to go ahead and have them taken. Of course, had it been humid I would have absolutely had to cancel.  Ren does not do humidity well either.

Luckily, the session turned out great, and except for once, when she was wearing a fairly tight headband and longer dress as part of a Bohemian ensemble, Ren didn’t even break a sweat.  Having said that, we did go prepared, which helped ensure neither she nor her makeup melted.

Here’s what it takes.

1.)  Make sure you have a great photographer who works quickly.
2.)  Use a sweat resistant foundation.  Ren wore Clinique’s new Stay-Matte.  I have to say I was impressed.
3.)  If possible, bring along a personal make-up artist for retouches.  We are lucky to have one in the family.  Thanks, Meg.
4.)  Keep a dry hand towel handy for blotting away moisture around the face and neck.
5.)  Have a personal-sized, battery-operated fan.  This has been a lifesaver for Ren on multiple occasions.
6.)  Pack a cooler with some cold water and a bag or two of ice OR
7.)  Realize the one being photographed will probably need a straw for sipping water - lest we smear some lipstick - so head to the local Sonic.  Be prepared:  3 medium ice waters and one large cup of ice will cost you $2.29.  I was rather shocked.  

I can’t wait to see the rest.

Well, stay cool, my friends.  And please, say a prayer that everyone in need of rain will get some much needed relief soon.